Notes on this and that

1.

I can't blog often now not only because I am in the midst of thesis writing/copy-n-pasting/editing, but also because the internet connection at home has gone haywire. Which is good - in that it prevents me from wasting my precious time playing Scramble on Facebook - but not so good since I can't make use of Waseda Library off-campus resources.

2.

The in-laws returned home last Thursday. I hope the good times here outweigh the not-so-good ones, and they won't be complaining too much about us or Japan to others. They went places - covered most of Tokyo's tourist-must-see areas, as well as Yokohama (Mak Rasah had a great time at Rose Garden in Minato no Mieru Oka Koen, and we visited Aka Renga for the first time after numerous visits to Yokohama), Hakone (the 'normal' Hakone Freepass schedule - Pirate sightseeing ship, ropeway, cable car, mountain train - with better and improved facilities in Hakone, unlike our trip back in 2006) and Disneyland (good: hubby and I managed to take lots of rides; not-so-good: Abah Rasah wanted to return home as early as 6.00 p.m. and Mak Rasah trembled from cold weather even when it was rather warm for Tokyo in May. We finally went home at about 8.45 p.m.)

3.

Unlike most asthmatic kids, Huzaifah is most prone to asthma attack in summer rather than in winter or spring. His first asthma attack happened in summer, and last week, on a warm Wednesday (25 C) when even his Nenek did not have to wear her cardigan, he got an asthma attack. He could eat ice-cream on cold winter nights, or play in a pollen-infested field in spring with no worries at all, but come summer - he would start coughing out of the blue, which lead to wheezing and all.

Faizly was with us in Ueno when it happened. After trying to look for a clinic and failed to find one, we decided to ask for direction at a Koban (police kiosk) in Ueno Koen. The policeman at first showed us direction to a clinic about 800 metres away, and should the clinic be closed (it was already past 5.00 p.m. then, and many clinics are closed at 5.00 p.m.) we were advised to go to a public Hospital which is about a further 1km away from the clinic. I was already tired of looking for a clinic and asked the policeman to call for an ambulance, "My child needs it"

At the mention of the word "kodomo", the policeman almost started panicking, asking me back "kodomo? kodomo?" a few times, as he suddenly realised that I was not asking for direction to get help for my asthma attack but rather my child's.

The ambulance arrived about 5 minutes after I filled up some forms (Japanese and their love for paperworks...)

4.

Huzaifah was not admitted in the hospital, alhamdulillah.
The thing with my son is that even when he is under asthma attack, he still has lots of energy. That's why I believed that much more of the nebulizer the was prescribed for him vaporized in the air rather than inhaled by him. Alhamdulillah there was this one friendly obachan-like nurse-san which kept encouraging Huzaifah to inhale his nebulizer properly (through various means - cheering him on, teasing him, warning him sternly etc)

5.

I finally ate some birthday cake, more than a week after my birthday. Faizly brought a Nutty Chocolate ice-cream cake at Baskin Robbins on the way back from the hospital. (Thank you Sabah - you are the best!)
Of course, we didn't let Huzaifah had the ice-cream, just the cake portion, and he was okay the next day, so no worries.

6.

Mak was admitted to PPUM for a mild heart attack on Sunday. At first she was told that she might be warded for a few days, but yesterday the specialist who looked at her case said that she could be discharged, and so she was in late evening. Mak said it is nothing to worry about really - it's only normal for people with high-blood pressure problem to face this next. She has been very busy lately doing voluntary charity works, in fact, she started feeling "berdebar-debar" since Saturday when she visited an orphanage in Teluk Intan, but it was not until Sunday night when she finally asked Ayah to take her to the hospital. It goes without saying that she was one of the first to get to see a doctor in the Emergency section that night...

And her observation upon leaving the hospital?
"We need more doctors, especially local specialists, we need more hospitals, we need more efficient and daring administrators, and not some lame and lazy ones who keep giving excuses on why we can't make all these things happen..."

7.

While I can't answer the question of "Why aren’t Malay men these days like our fathers?", I for one am glad that my husband and many of the male friends I know are not like our fathers.

Since Malay women these days are not like our mothers, I guess it is inevitable that the same applies to Malay men.

I mean, let's be honest, how many Malay men in our father's generation would have supported our mothers pursuing an MA or PhD course? Or sharing household chores/taking care of the children/etc. My Ayah used to ask for "air, air" even when the glass was already laid in front of him and the pitcher was just next to him. Abah Rasah, according to Mak Rasah, simply refused to help in the home for fear of being labeled "kena queen control".

While he hates cooking, hubby usually helps with the laundry, cleaning the house, and doesn't mind taking turn preparing baby's milk at night. And sometimes he even offers making tea/Milo for me instead of just requesting them all the time (from the wife) like his or my father does. (yes, I know, hubby could be very sweet at times, and I thank Allah for being blessed with him by my side) I also know a few male friends/relatives who are better cook than their wives, and doesn't mind making meals when guests show up unexpectedly. Maybe not all are as efficient or effective with household chores like the wives would have expected, but the point is they help and do not tell the wife back, "eh, ini kerja orang perempuan lah"

And let's not even discuss public display of affection. Mak once received a long lecture from Ayah after she impulsively gave him a peck on the cheek at the airport just before she went overseas. I think most Malay husbands nowadays are more open when it comes to showing PDA - holding hands, a peck on the cheek, cuddles, hugs - all within 'acceptable' range of course, none of those which might incite "Oy, get a room!" response from other onlookers.

I don't want Malay men to be more like our fathers, I just wish that they become better practising Muslim. Practising Muslim men try to follow the examples set by Rasulullah in that he did not feel ashamed to do household chores himself - he sewed and patched his clothing himself, repaired his shoes, kindled the fire, swept the floor, milked the cows etc. Practising Muslim men does not only remind their wives from time to time that the husband is numero uno, but also remember that Rasulullah has said, "The believers who show the most perfect faith are those who have the best character, and the best of you are those who are best to their wives".

Al-fatihah...

... for Ina's beloved little munchkin.
May Allah bless him, and grant the living ones strength and courage in this difficult time.

Not good, not good

The good news first,
I've been informed that Sonoda sensei - the professor I'd originally wanted as my supervisor - is going to be my 2nd examiner. Yay, alhamdulillah!

The not-so-good news,
At the end of Q&A session of my presentation today, my sensei remarked - "I don't think you can come up with a solid academic paper based on your presentation today. Are you confident that you can come up with a good thesis?"

Ouch!

But my zemi-mates were very supportive - they made suggestions and came up with constructive criticisms on how, where and on which areas I can improve my paper.

Maybe I'm too sensitive - but the other day my zemi-mate presented, he presented less facts, data and figures than I did, and our sensei didn't made any scathing remark like that. What gives?


#####

In the midst of being busy with my dissertation, I found the temptation to check things out on FB too alluring, and seldom resisted it.
Yabai...

#####

I am tired.
Not that I don't want to be a good wife/daughter-in-law/hostess, but there have been moments when I wished hubby could see that I am not a superwoman. Sometimes I slipped - like yesterday when I fell asleep while putting Humaidi to sleep before I served dinner for the family. It was unintentional. I hadn't slept since 4.30 a.m. - and the kids were extra 'active' all day long, with only me to look after them, and I was tired of 'perah otak' trying to edit my presentation and worked on the presentation notes.

Now, if only hubby could understand that, and simply listen and emphatize when I said "I am tired", instead of replying harshly, "You are not the only one who is tired. You don't know how tired I was...". Of course I can imagine that he was tired too - playing tourist guide in Tokyo using public transport is tiring and I have first-hand experience of that - but sometimes all I need is just to be listened to, and my feelings affirmed.

Is that too much to ask for?

Random thoughts on one's (30++) birthday

1.
It rained all day long - not a sunny birthday for me this year
But being able to enjoy listening to the sound of falling rain (when the boys were asleep, while hubby and the parents-in-law went sightseeing) was kind of nice...

2.
Thank you Faizly for that special entry on your blog.
Thank you Husna for that special status display on YM
Thank you everyone else for birthday wishes/cards/virtual gifts - by email, YM, FB...

3.
It's good to meet old friends again on FB, especially on one's birthday.

4.
Happy birthday to Mida in Odaiba
Happy birthday to 'Abang' Syafiq Anas in Sarawak
Happy birthday to Sue - who used to be in the same college with me, but I have no idea where she is now.
Happy belated birthday to T.I, Imah, Farid - all from SMAPL class of '92 - on May 7th, 8th, 9th respectively.
And congratulations to Fendi and Liya on the birth of their second son this morning, alhamdulillah... (obviously it'll be easy for me to remember the kid's birthday)

5.
I want to improve in at least one area of my daily life, but still undecided on how to exactly persecute it...

6.
I want to write a book, insya Allah. Jennifer Chan, a researcher from British Columbia University visited us a while ago and had a really long interview with hubby and I. After listening to our stories (as the Imam of Asakusa Mosque and the Imam's wife), she took a look at our photo collection - of nikah ceremonies, syahadah ceremonies, 'tahnik', iftar jama'ie, maulidur-rasul - turned to me, and exclaimed, "You should write a book on being a Muslim in Japan, you have all these wonderful resources!"
Maybe I should.
Maybe I'll start by taking a writing course when I return.

7.
If I ever get to write and publish a book on being a Muslim in Japan, I intend to use some, if not all, of the proceeds to help funding Islamic activities in Japan...

Mak pesan... 4

"Many of us fall into 'victim syndrome', excusing ourselves for being lesser becauyse we are underprivileged - oh, he is good in English because he studies overseas, oh, she can do lots of cooking experiments because her kids are big enough, oh, he is good in reading Quran because his Mom teaches Islamic studies... What we often forget to do is to look at those underprivileged who yet managed to do the impossibles and challenge ourselves to do the same..."

Jalan-jalan Golden Week 2008

1. BBQ in Saitama

Place: Gyoda, Saitama
Date: 3 May 2008



Kak Ita: Ini dah ada futomaki, haru maki, kalau tak sedap memang nak kena maki...

Good thing I brought some jelly. Or Agar-agar Pandan to be exact. Not in the usual green colour though, since I only have Artificial Cochineal color in stock, so red it was... Not many people - but it was really sunny in Gyoda as opposed to wet rainy Tokyo.

Pictures could be seen at Kak Ita's fotopages and summary by Faizly could be read here

2. No more Panda... Bye-bye Ling Ling

Place: Ueno Zoo, Tokyo
Date: 4 May 2008



The symbol of Ueno Zoo, Ling Ling the panda passed away on 30th April 2008.
Thousands flocked to the zoo to show their love and appreciation for the giant panda, bringing lots of flower bouquets, candies, chocolates and fruits and arranged them in front of the now empty 'Giant Panda house'. The place was terribly crowded, the weather a bit gloomy - as if to enhance the mourning mood in the zoo. Huzaifah seemed to enjoy the trip, and Humaidi repeatedly kept kicking his shoes - and by the time we left the place, he was wearing only his right shoe. Nice zoo, the many 'forests' which house the animals somehow made the animals seem to be more at home than sparse zoos I'd previously visited. Oh, and there's a monorail connecting the East and West area of the zoo (1 minute ride)

3. Party in Odaiba

Place: 4th Floor Lounge, Block C, Tokyo International Exchange Center, Odaiba
Date: 6 May 2008

Shukrat, an Uzbek who's currently doing his MA in GRIPS invited us over for a 'small party' at his place. Took that opportunity to first visit Syah and his family who have moved there since end of March. Nice apartment, but not so nice view as their balcony faces the Yurikamome rail line. Nor made some meehoon sup, and later we were joined by Acoi's family. We joined Acoi to Shukrat's party since they are living in the same block. The 'small party' turned out not to be so small after all with Shukrat friends and their families of various nationalities attending it - Japanese, Egyptian, Kazakhs, Russians, Turks, and our two families from Malaysia. Lots of food - home-made bread, noodles, pilaf rice, three different kinds of salad, tomatoes salsa on fried eggplant, baklava, some Russian confectionery, cakes, fruits and chocolates for the kids. Huzaifah performed a dangerous act of bergayut from the spiral stairway and Humaidi broke a plate - but at least they were not the only boisterous kids around...

Doki doki

I'm feeling quite nervous right now.
In a few hours time my parents-in-law will be arriving in Tokyo.
"But you've been married for more than 3 years!" some of you would exclaimed back.
Yes, while that is true, before we came to Japan, hubby and I did not have a place of ours.
We were staying either at his parent' place in Rasah or my parents' place in PJ.
And to add to that - I've never really cooked for my parents-in-law in my own place.
When I was pregnant with Huzaifah, I could not stand any kitchen smell.
When I was back for short breaks in Malaysia after that, I've never felt comfortable enough to cook in Rasah, so I just helped out with preparing stuff and washing dishes. Yes, I know, I am not exactly a dream daughter-in-law.

It's a cross-culture thing, this classic case of a daughter-in-law hoping to be able to fulfill a mother-in-law's hopes and expectation. Somehow, some way, it always seem like no female is ever acceptable to the sons, although the sons themselves are not perfect creatures. This doesn't seem to occur too often in the son-in-law and father-in-law's relationship . Maybe it's a male bonding thingy. Oh well...

I pray and hope that hubby and I will be able to 'raikan' our Mak and Abah Rasah to their satisfaction during their two weeks stay here...

Jalan-jalan tengok Tulip - part 2

Place: Hitachi Seaside Park aka Hitachi Kaihin Koen (entrance fee 400 yen per person)
Date: 26 April 2008

Friends in Chiba already told us that we were already late for real tulip viewing pleasure since most tulips in and around Tokyo were past their best viewing time... But when Liya and Fendi said that we would still be able to view nice tulips (300,000 stalks) with lots of varieties in Hitachi - we just went ahead and joined them. Called up Jan and Syeih in Hitachi, and they said that they too were planning on going to Hitachi Kaihin Koen at the same time, so we made plan to meet in the park. Faizly could not join us because he had some other things to attend to at school, so Liya & Fendi invited Zahid, a 1st year student to tag along. Radzian and family could not come since they were entertaining a Malaysian guest from Singapore.

Took the Tsukuba Express train to Tsukuba, and Fendi fetched us there before driving us for more than 2 hours to Hitachi Seaside Park. Lunch was yaki udon by yours truly, plus nasi goreng and super yummilicious cheese chocolate brownies by Liya. Told Liya that she might consider going into cakes and confectionery business one day since she is really skilled in making them, no kidding.

Umar and Huzaifah had a whale of time playing in Tamago no Mori (with Zahid as their baby sitter) while Jan and Syeih had some fun with their adorable daughter Sakura in Pleasure Garden, an amusement park with a 100-meter high ferris wheel (cheap as it cost only 500 yen per person as against 700 in Yokohama or 900 in Odaiba) and other. Wanted to snack on some Bear castella, but the oil used is a mixture of plant and animal based oil, zannen datta. When we first arrived there was a teenage rock concert going on - but as we walked further away from Tamago no Mori (the Tulip World area) it became more serene and pleasant. We didn't even managed to cover half of the whole park, but we were the last to exit the park's west gate - the security guards in the parking area even lined up to greet us bye-bye, huhuhu...

Had dinner at Jan & Syeih's place - a cozy 3-roomed City Council apartment on a hilly area which cost them less than 15,000 yen a month. Told them that we could just eat the lunch leftover, but Syeih insisted on cooking chicken curry for us, assisted by Jan.

By the time we reached Tsukuba, it was too late to catch up the last train back to Asakusa, so all the three adult guys spent the night at Zahid's room. The mommies however had some difficulty sleeping as the kiddies - Umar, Huzaifah and Humaidi - went on an 'orchestra' of crying, sobbing, wailing and weeping until early morning...

Nice things about Hitachi Kaihin Koen:

• Accessible by public transport, 10 minutes by bus/taxi from Katsuta eki on JR Joban Line.
• Lots of outdoor facilities - cycling courses, athletic fields, safe playing area for kids made from rubbery material (the bonggol-bonggol thing in Tamago no Mori is not made from stone)
• Lots of different park areas for different kind of flowers, including a nice lake
  
• In case of rain, there is also a greenhouse, a gallery and some restaurants area spread out in the large park
• Features an in-park amusement park with a ferris wheel

Like other national parks, there is no entrance fee on May 4th (Midori no hi aka Green day) and a few other selected days. In fact we went there a day before it was open for free (the last Sunday of April, which is supposed to be the best time to enjoy the tulips there). We enjoyed the many colors, variations and arrangements of tulips there tremendously, alhamdulillah...

Jalan-jalan tengok Tulip - part 1

Place: Kasumigaura Park, not far from Tsuchiura, Ibaraki
Date: 19 April 2008

Went there before we went to JAXA Tsukuba Special Open Day, driven by Fendi who fetched us from Tsukuba eki. Radzian & Rini's family in another car followed Fendi's lead. Faizly joined us too, having spending the night before the visit to help with making some bento (two varieties of sandwiches - tuna & egg, as well as roasted chicken wings and drumsticks). Liya brought yummilicious carrot cake (yay!) and meehoon kicap which Huzaifah simply could not get enough of. Serious, I've never seen him gobbling up anything like that ever before. (Note to self : Hmm, maybe should give Liya's recipe a try after this...)

Plus factor:

• Next to Kasumigaura lake, the second largest lake in Japan.
• Features a windmill and the tulips were color/type coordinated, giving it a Holland-like feel (Upon seeing our photos, Mak made a passing comment on how Japanese sometimes seems to have nothing better to do than to imitate others)
  
• Features a watermill (which was not functioning when we were there, but still...)

Minuses:

• Quite difficult to reach by public transport
• The tulips area is actually not that big (photos could be deceiving)

Although initially I was quite upset to see some of the tulips already in ' lunyai' condition, since we had traveled all the way from Tokyo, hubby and I just went on "happy-snapper" mode. We tried making the most out of the best we had there - and alhamdulillah the pictures turned out quite well....

And if it was not enough, the following tulip-seeing trip was really great, subhanallah...

Further reading/photos:
Liya & Fendi
Faizly

Prayer for a friend who became a sister...

Was 'godek-godek'ing an old private blog of mine, and found an old poem I wrote for Emi, a close friend who reverted to Islam in 2004. (Throughout my life so far, I've been blessed with lots of good friends named Emi/Amy - some for a fleeting moment, some for life) When I re-read this - and now that I am a wife of an Imam who led several reversion sessions - it struck me that what I wished for my dearest friend back then, is similar to my hopes, wishes, and prayers for every new Muslim...

Once, we received a torn-into-2-pieces Muslim Certificate, and similarly torn Nikah certificate sent to the mosque (the lady converted in 2003). Just seeing the torn certificate was enough to make me and hubby 'mengucap panjang'... It got us both thinking about irresponsible Muslims who ask others to convert just for the sake of marrying, but do not help in guiding their partner towards the right path. While not every new Muslims get shunned from their family, relatives and friends, it is known to happen quite often - so if their trusted partner shun them too - where else can they go to?

If they have known Allah, at least they would know that Allah will never forsake them, but to most Japanese who have never believed in God for the most part of their life - this is a foreign concept. The concept of one Al-Mighty God is too deep, too complicated. A Japanese girl once asked me - "why are we not equal if Allah loves us all? Do you think we are equal?".

A simple question, yet it required a long detailed and thoughtful answer...

Doa (untuk teman yang kini menjadi saudara)

Tanganmu kugenggam erat
syukurku tidak terhingga
takdirNya kita sama memilih ad-deenul haq
tunduk pada Khaliq yang Esa

Satu persatu aku ungkapkan
hasrat, harapan dan doa
untuk seorang yang dulunya teman
kini sudah menjadi saudara

Pintaku
semoga hatimu disimbahi cahaya
rasa dilimpahi kebenaran
jiwa dihiasi ketenangan
bahagia berkekalan

Harapanku
agar kau sabar menempuh dugaan
tabah mengharung kesukaran
tekad dalam keputusan
nekad dengan pilihan

Doaku
mudah-mudahan kau tidak akan
rasa keseorangan dipinggirkan
rasa keasingan disisihkan
rasa kejauhan ditinggalkan
mudah-mudahan kau tidak akan
lupa bahawa betapa
selangkah kau mendekati Tuhan
seribu langkah kau akan didekatiNya

Saudaraku
mudah-mudahan kita sama-sama
dilindungi dalam rahmah dan barakahNya
sentiasa

Haizra Azida
4 Rabiul Akhir 1425
Kuala Lumpur

Hanami and Humaidi

I know, I know - I'm terrible in sharing timely reports. Cherry blossom viewing - or hanami as it is called around here - was over ages ago, and only now I am posting some photos of it...

Well, this year hubby and I had several sessions of hanami, unlike last year when I went for hanami maybe once - just before Humaidi was born. Yes, yes, I know, I didn't even post an entry on Humaidi's first birthday. For the record - we had a quiet celebration - went out for hanami in Sumida Park, then went to New Otani Hotel Japanese garden followed by dinner at Sweets Paradise in Ginza. Koseki-san, the policeman who visit us often gave him a Pajero Dakar Rally Fontenay Mighty Vehicle - a huge toy which Huzaifah claimed to be his and seldom let Humaidi as much as touch it.

• Humaidi now weighs about 9.5kg, and is 74cm in height.
• Has 6 teeth - is really good at chewing food and currently eats more rice than porridge.
  
• Could not walk unaided as yet, but loves 'cruising' along the furniture and is capable of 'mengesot' quite fast.
  
• Like Huzaifah, Humaidi is not fond of using a proper walker, instead prefers holding onto Ibu's leg/kain sarung as a method of training to walk.
  
• Unlike Huzaifah who loves to 'explore' stuff on his own and refused to be held for a long period of time, Humaidi is calmer and doesn't mind sitting in one place while studying a toy in various ways (which often include 'tasting' it)
• He has rather unruly curly hair and bright shining eyes which slint Nihonjin-like everytime he laughs hard
  
• Most people find it difficult to tell whether he looks more like Ibu or Ayah, so I usually tell them that he takes after Kimura sensei who helped me gave birth to him, hihihi...

Back to our hanami story - we didn't go to anywhere too far for it. Sumida Park is not that far and there's a small park lined with sakura about two minutes by foot from our place. Sumida Park is a popular hanami spot - and people were there from early morning until late night, making it quite smelly what with all the 'Jepun mabuk' around... During one outing, a drunk ojiichan insisted on talking to me while I was snapping some sakura photos. I feigned ignorance at speaking Nihonggo because I could not stand his smell and did not want to encourage him to keep on chatting. But he was singing praises for gaijin - how he loves having a gaijin as his son-in-law, how he loves making business with gaijin and all - so I just smiled for a while and agreed to take a photo together when he asked and quickly left him after that. (Hubby said that while many Japanese tend to think of gaijin as nuisance, sometimes they don't realize that Nihonjin could be a nuisance too to gaijin... Ouch!)

Mak pesan... 3

"I don't see any reason why a boss should distance himself or herself from the subordinates. When one does that, it means practising 'thou art holier'... Try asking around, and I am sure most subordinates prefer warm and kind over cold and distance bosses. We lose nothing by being kind..."